Oh my goodness. The day has come and I am here and I am NO longer a teenager, and I thought I would just write a few words and reflect back on the the past year and think about how age affects us in the world and how ageism is still alive and kicking, and how this post is probably going to be ridiculously dramatic considering i’m still essentially a baby.
I never really remembered anything before the age of like 8 but … actually that’s a lie because morbidly one of my first memories was hearing of the news coverage of 9/11 BUT is it not so odd how like until the age of 8 you don’t really remember your life. I wonder if that happens as you get older, and when i’m 30 I won’t remember what I did at 19. Hopefully not. Teenage hood has been a DEFINITE hilarity for me and definitely not what I thought it would be. I’m going to blame high school musical for the over zealous and heightened prospects of the years between 13 – 19 however there have definitely been times where I’ve expressed my feelings through emotive dance routines, although the intensely romantic hetero normative arch of that film never rang true. Thank god.
This past year has been an amazing year not just for me but FOR MY WEBSITE! Here I am a year later, still writing, still venting, still keeping my life and MEMORY alive and also being a voice for the LGBTQIA+ community. No matter how small my voice is, the fact that I have one and I am utilising it is important because I have that privilege to be able to express myself and be able to discuss that with other LGBTQIA+ people in the world. I have been able to grow my contact base with other LGBTQIA+ people this year and it’s been something that I have been immensely proud, humbled and HONOURED to be able to do. Having people that I can connect with online and in person who know what it’s like to be LGBTQIA+, Trans/Gender Non-Conforming is SUCH a warm and enriching experience, and this year I have been able to maturely grow and experience that connection with other people, and I can’t wait to explore that this year further.
This year I want to be able to grow, further my website, THRIVE in the world of fashion and LGBTQIA+ rights and become a voice, a face in the UK for trans/gender non-conforming people by progressing with my website, starting a YouTube channel and continuing the fight for LGBTQIA+ rights. I went to my first protest at the Russian Embassy this month and it was such a strong, healthy and invigorating experience. My first experience of being able to stand tall and stand strong with my people was something i’ll never forget, and being able to openly demonstrate for LGBTQIA+ people across the world is again something that this year I have been eternally grateful for, and accept and acknowledge my privilege vastly.
And I can’t write this post without saying a massive thank you to everyone who has supported me this year. I’m someone who can struggle with socialising at times, and can find relatively ‘normal’ situations quite stressful, however the amount of people both online and in person who have helped me realise that I am ENOUGH is off the scale. You have all helped me when i’m not feeling my yellow self, and I thank you for that. Only I am in charge of how I feel, and my future and what happens to me, and my self confidence is something that I can only work on, and you have all helped me know that. Validation is not on the cards here and ironically, despite what misconceptions people have of social media, it has actually reassured me that using it for validation is unhealthy and something that I never want to fall into.
Now… i’m off to have a brew and think about how i’m going to start my 20s the way I ended my teens. Here. Visible. Growing, and QUEER AS FUCK.
LOVE YOU LADIES